The Best Ever Book of Newcastle United Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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The Best Ever Book of Newcastle United Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

The Best Ever Book of Newcastle United Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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He takes off his clothes for other men, and if they pay him enough money, he goes into the alley and performs sexual acts on them. On the night of the honeymoon she woke him up in the early hours with tears streaming down her cheeks. The third man picked his way carefully through the ducks … and was met at the other end by a beautiful shapely blonde ! Short one-liners, questions with a silly answer, generally inoffensive often told to provoke a negative reaction.

We don’t share your credit card details with third-party sellers, and we don’t sell your information to others. The man who has made absolutely certain we will stare relegation in the face until May, and why will almost certainly go down, is LEE CHARNLEY. Bruce Kelly, from Washington: The fire brigade phoned Steve McLaren in the early hours of the morning to tell him St James’ Park was on fire.I don’t mind you living on the fruits of love, but please don’t throw the skins out of the window as THEY ARE CHOKING THE SEAGULLS ! When it came to his turn, the assistant started ringing the contents of his overloaded trolley into the till. And, if you don’t burst out laughing from at least one Newcastle United joke in this book, there’s something wrong with you. Of course, Newcastle supporters would be better off singing songs about our own team for sure and really there isn’t much of a need for them to sing the songs they did. Unfortunately, the Beatles Bible doesn't list any dates the Beatles ever played in Newcastle-under-Lyme, versus three or four dates in Newcastle-upon-Tyne.

Every Sunderland supporter knows what a joke the Magpies really are and so do most people up and down the country. We have scoured the country for some of the best and funniest jokes, most jokes were thought up on terraces or in the pub after a game and a few beers.Phil McGrath: “A couple of lads were in the park playing football when a Rottweiler jumped up and grabbed one of them by the throat. You can reach our highly engaged audience and work with us to create entertaining and engaging content that focuses on telling not selling.

He said to the wife : ‘Those fifteen kids we’ve got, there’s something not right … get them lined up !The majority – loyal, faithful, hard-working, cash-strapped Newcastle fans – desperately wanted it to work; longed to see McClaren mould talented players into a mean top-half of the table team; to see the club at least achieve SAFETY. Newcastle is the home of one of the greatest teams in English football and the birthplace of a famous high street bakery. My advice, Sir’, said the doctor, ‘Is to get a black bin liner, and put some rotten vegetables in the bottom of it.

Geordie was most unhappy at the prospect of a camel, but after a few weeks, in desperation, he went round the back with a pair of stepladders and was intending making love to a camel. in some cases chants are obviously unacceptable and shouldn’t be tolerated, including racist songs, sexist songs towards females in attendance, those that are directly offensive to individuals, or a controversial political statement. None of his classmates liked him cause of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him, "you are driving me mad Wally". So they have a beer in London, bag of crisps in Birmingham, they enjoy a slice of the famous Chevington cheese in Newcastle, and as they slowly traveled Northward, they both get the urge to go fishing in the famous Scottish Lochs.Until it occurred to me -- maybe "Newcastle" in this anecdote was Newcastle-under-Lyme, located about an hour from Liverpool and more or less on the way to/from London! I've always been dubious of that because of the hours it would take just to do the driving, never mind spend any time on the ground recording or playing a show. As the season dragged, McClaren hauled the creativity out of Wijnaldum, the fire out of Colback, the skill out of Mitrovic, the guts out of the team.

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